Knowing When to Say No…

7 Aug

Sometimes, knowing when to put your foot down can be a problem. Other times, the door opens itself for you. Sometimes, no matter WHAT the situation, you can find it hard to actually put your foot down & say no to something or someone. I am finding myself at a crossroads.

The person I am working for has steadily declined recently. I have been conflicted about whether I should quit that job. I recently decided it was time, with the hours getting cut in my other job. I am pretty sure I have another job, so I put in my notice. I was nervous about it, knowing that this person has become extremely dependent on me being there for everything-even when I wasn’t on the clock. All this person had to do was call & I would go running. In talking to a family member of this person’s, they said that this person did the same thing to the person working for them before me. This whole job hasn’t gone as planned. It was only supposed to be for 6 to 8 WEEKS, now, almost 5 YEARS later, I am still there. Everytime I thought about leaving, I felt immense guilt, because I felt I was letting both the person that I work for as well as the family down for leaving. I guess I felt sort of responsible for this person. But, in the time since I started, this person has declined, has had a couple of accidents, & is now pretty much confined to laying down. I’ve tried to help this person as much as possible, but I am just not that physically strong a person to be able to pick this person up as much as this person needs. I have felt this way for a while, but I’ve kept with it, thinking maybe things would get better…but that just hasn’t been the case. Then, on top of this, the person has been snappy & grumpy lately. It hasn’t been just with me. That has, also, been wearing on me too. It wasn’t a bad working environment, but I personally felt tense. To preface this next part, I know this is PART of the job, but this person would give me a few things to do, so I’d start in on them, then the person would interrupt me to do something else, then I would do that, then, the person would have to go to the bathroom. So, I’d finish everything, then they’d have me do something else. I’d finally sit down for literally 2 seconds, then they’d have to poop. On top of everything, this person can’t hear as well as they used to, which has, I’m sure, made this person more grumpy. So, I hopefully have found a new job, that will hopefully free up some time for me. I will, however, still have to help this person out some…so it still isn’t a clean break. I’m not sure how long that will last…

It’s just been stressful lately, on top of working 6 days a week for…I can’t even remember how long now. Then, I am finding that trying to eat good & exercise has taken a backseat of sorts. I sure hope the grass is greener on the other side of this story. Hopefully no more bumps or drama…

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