Confused…

27 Jun

Ok, so this is going to be a 2 part post (I hope)…1st about a family member who just doesn’t get it that if they text or call someone (when they are working, & this person KNOWS they are working), & don’t get an immediate answer, it is NOT that we are ignoring them or anything bad…We are just WORKING, & can not answer the phone or text right away. 2nd, about someone close to me who is always high drama.

So, onto the family member (again). Years ago, on 1 of my days off, I actually had plans (yes, really, I know-it’s VERY hard to believe!). The plans were that a friend & I were going to meet her mom in the town that her mom lived in (about 40 minutes away, door to door), the 3 of us go watch a movie, then go out to lunch. I told my parents what we were doing, & they had no problems with it, other than I be careful, & be sure I had my cell phone on me, fully charged, just in case. I figured, I had my bases covered-I had noone else to which I had to answer to. I get ONE phone call from this family member, & there was NO was I was going to answer the phone. Why? The movie had ended, & we left, my friends mom taking her car, & my friend & I taking my car, & we were en route to a restaurant to have lunch. I didn’t know much about this city, so I was following my friends mom between the theater & the restaurant. I WAS DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD when this family member called. AND she only called ONCE. I figured I’d get it when I got to the restaurant & call her back or whatever. Needless to say, I waited a while to call her back, because she single handedly ruined my day off, which was up till then, was a pretty good day. She left me voicemail. The WHOLE voicemail was her yelling at me about me NEVER answering her when she calls or texts me, WHY do I never answer her calls-she KNOWS that I have caller ID & I can see who is calling & she doesn’t know why I am ignoring her, all she needs me to do is go over & check on my grandma. I was so upset I almost started crying-which isn’t something I normally do in public (funerals or VERY sad movies…) I waited until I got back into town, after talking to my friend about it, & working up the courage to say what I wanted to say (as well as figuring out what I wanted to say without messing it up). When I called her back, I think she said something to the effect of ‘oh, you’re FINALLY calling back…’ I immediately asked her if she even KNEW what I was doing when she called me? She said no. I, in a strong tone (I wasn’t yelling, but I wasn’t timid either), told her I was in the other town, driving down the road, following my friends mom from a movie theater to a restaurant to go eat lunch, & that I was SORRY I didn’t answer, BUT, I didn’t want to get into an accident OR pulled over by a policeman & put in jail because I HAD to answer the phone for her…I also said that I had a PRETTY good idea that *THAT* excuse wouldn’t fly with law enforcement & wouldn’t get me out of a ticket or put in jail, & did SHE want to pay my tickets, fines, & get me out of jail? Boy, did she change her attitude after that, she was like ‘oh did you guys have fun?’ Well, something close happened recently. It didn’t escalate as far as that time. But this person, who KNEW I was working on this day, from lets say 8 am to 4 pm, texted me about something. Because I was WORKING, I didn’t get back to her right away. Well, she then texted me ‘hello?’, then, 2 minutes (literally 2 minutes) later, she called me. I didn’t answer because, guess what? I was working. Then, she texted me again ‘hello?’ By this time, it was 5 minutes before I was going to get off. As I was leaving I texted her back saying I was sorry, but I was working, but I was on my way. She said she wasn’t sure if I got her message. I told her I was WORKING! I love her but oh my god! I thought we went through this already! JUST because I don’t answer right THEN, does NOT mean I am ignoring her…

Then, from the frying pan to the heat…the high drama case. With this person, if it’s not 1 things, it’s another. Literally, there are 2 big things from the long ago past that this person keeps on bringing into the present, on top of many other battles that are un-necessarily brought into their relationship. Now, I have a feeling a new issue has been brought in that will be 1 of these issues that will keep on being brought up over & over again. This friend told another friend everything, but left some stuff out when tellingĀ  me (not that I care, more drama that I would rather not deal with anyway), so we each gave this friend our 2 cents…the other friend hasn’t heard back from said friend since this morning. I talked to this friend for a bit, finally giving my honest to god thoughts on the subject, & haven’t heard from this friend since. I really do like this friend, BUT, as I’ve said before, I am SO over this friend coming to ‘us’ (we’re a group of 4 best friends, so by ‘us’, I mean the other 3 of us), complaining of the same troubles, same fights with the spouse over & over again. They have been married for about 7 years now, the spouse was my first everything. I think they vaguely knew each other before, but basically my friends now spouse needed a place to live, & my friend, at that time, lived in a 1 bedroom apartment, & it started out (my friend told US anyway) that the now spouse would bunk on the couch, but it didn’t happen that way. My friend, being naive, inexperienced, & prudish, SWORE to us that the now spouse would gratify themself in the bed they shared, as well as in the shower. This friend ‘claims’ that their parents freely talked about sex & stuff like that, but I am skeptical, judging by how the friend reacted & reacts to some of the topics our other friends & myself talked about. This friend went between acting disgusted & totally grossed out, like a prudish teenager. My parents never really talked about anything sexual, & I wasn’t grossed out or anything by what my friends & I talked about. As many times as we told this friend to just talk to the eventual spouse about it, this friend never did. I am not sure how it happened, but all of a sudden, they’d kissed (it was my friends 2nd maybe kiss-& I’m going to go out on a limb & say it was my friends 1st ‘real’ kiss), then, 1 thing turned into another…& they’ve been married pretty much 7 years now. I am pretty sure that my friends big problem is communication. I can’t tell you how many times I have told my friend to just TALK to the spouse about what is bothering my friend, instead of letting it fester until my friend blows up & it turns into a big fight. Also, part of my friends problem IS the fact that said friend stews on something, then, comes at you from right field & acting all bullish & commanding & very argumentative. And there is NO telling this friend anything else than what they want to hear, or what they’re trying to say-all differing opinions or facts are all wrong on all accounts. This friend can be a very overpowering force, but this friend is also fickle. When we were in high school, this friend swore they had feelings for another friend who lived out of town, but said friend was scared to tell the other friend about these feelings for fear of losing the friendship they already had. That friendship ended up going nowhere. Then, this friend thought they had feelings for a siblings spouses sibling, & again, didn’t act on it, so nothing happened, & sibling in law ended up getting married to someone else, which, for some reason, made my friend really angry. Then, the now spouse came along. And since then, this friend has said that they have had feelings for various other people, the latest being a cousin of the spouse. I am over here shaking my head. I just think that it was all too fast for my friend. I feel like they didn’t REALLY get to know each other BEFORE they got married. At this point, that is neither here nor there,

So, anyway…I am going to stop there before I get any more upset.

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