Archive | February, 2017

SSDD

4 Feb

Same Shit…Different Day…

Same argument, different day…

As a best friend, you’re allowed to be brutally honest with them right? Maybe not ALL the time (like telling them they look like a hooker in a certain dress or something like that…maybe soften the honesty a bit so as to not hurt their feelings…) BUT, when they keep getting into the same fight with their spouse over the same thing that happened (if you could even call it that) like almost 7 years ago now…like, at what point do you say enough is enough?! When do you say I have had enough of this shit…LET IT GO! My brain is literally about to explode because of this…AGAIN! (I’m warning you now, things may be a bit jumbled because of this-you’ve had fair warning) This friend can’t seem to let it go. Ok, so, at bachelor/bachlorette party that the friends had for the future spouse, they went to a strip club (which my BFF did NOT want them to do…HELLO! It’s f-ing tradition!), & the future spouse gave a back rub to a half naked person…the (now) spouse did not (both at that time, nor at ANY time in their relationship-pre AND post wedding) have any kind of sexual relations with anyone else other than my BFF. The spouse is NOT that type of person. The spouse dotes on my BFF, when the first child was born, the spouse ran himself ragged doing everything my BFF needed/wanted done…it was CRAZY to watch them. I, personally, would not have done a lot of the stuff that the spouse did, were I in that position, not to mention that a lot of what the spouse did SHOULD have been stuff that my BFF should have been doing (involving pumping of milk, among other things) It is totally obvious that the spouse is in love with my BFF, but my BFF seems to be fixated on 2 things that the spouse has done. 1-being said back massage, & also relating to that, not telling my BFF for 4 years, & supposedly not even telling my BFF, that my BFF had to work it out on their own. And 2, the spouse watching porn, & according to my BFF, having an addiction to it-which I don’t think is the case. I get it, that they don’t want their young child/children to walk in on that sort of thing, BUT that being said, my BFF has said that he/she doesn’t need it often…well, males are different than females, AND in that, every male is different from 1 another, as is the same for females. Some of us just need it more than others, so if you’re not willing to put out as often as your significant other, either get them off another way, or let them do that themselves.

 

I know, I’ve only had 1 relationship, what do I know? What possible experience do I have that I could give my BFF? I’ve never been married. The best I could give my BFF is my outside view of the situation, & what I would do if I were in that situation. That being said, after all this time, after how many fights-all over the same 2 issues, when will it ever end?! At this point, it is beating the dead horses great grand child…It’s in the past, & not recent past either! It should be long dead & buried, but it seems to be coming back again & again. I just don’t get how & why this person keeps bringing this up, why this is still an issue. I get it, that the now spouse gave someone else a back rub right before they got married…BUT (!!!) that was all…It was a back rub to a stranger ONE time, they never saw each other afterward or since. Like I said, the spouse LOVES my BFF, it is totally obvious! I get it that the spouse never told my BFF, & (according to my BFF) my BFF worked it out on one’s own…I would be a little upset too….BUT (!!!) almost 7 years later, it would NOT still be this much of an issue! Yes, it’d be a blip on the radar of history, BUT it wouldn’t be something I’d go out of my way to make it another fight over! Same thing goes for the whole porn issue. If I didn’t feel like doing anything (either totally into it-no pun intended-, or helping out), then I’d just let my significant other take care of himself with the help of porn.

I loveĀ  my BFF, I really do, but some of the stuff that bothers said BFF really baffles me. It has me asking myself ‘Is that REALLY a problem? AND is it THAT big of a problem that you would be starting a fight over it?’ And, I also wonder how many fights over the same things is my BFF going to start before said BFF learns? This BFF is very head strong, & very bull headed. I would hate to see anything bad happen, like a separation or divorce. I honestly don’t think my BFF has any idea of all the things that the spouse does for both my BFF & their family. Unfortunately, when said BFF realizes (if at all) what a find the spouse is, it’ll be too late. To say I am shocked at the way life has turned out for this BFF is an understatement-I wouldn’t have thought that this BFF would have what they do at this point. Don’t get me wrong, said BFF is doing a good job, BUT I don’t think that, given the chance, that said BFF could do it all alone…I might be surprised though…who knows?