Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming…

5 Sep

What do you do when you feel like you’re always troubled by the same problems? Or you seem to keep having the same issues with the same person over & over again, but you can’t say anything because no matter what you say, this person isn’t going to & will never change? In fact, saying something to this person only causes drama, because at the mention of the ‘issue’ only makes that person mad, & they create more un-needed drama on top of all the drama they have already caused.

 

This person constantly acts like they know everything about everybody, all the juicy little tidbits, like they’re all up in everyone’s business…only to get it all mixed up, have it all wrong, & not know anything. Oh, & let’s not forget that they don’t drive out of town, & frankly don’t know HOW to drive out of town, but that doesn’t stop them from ACTING like they know their way around. They act like they know, but when you challenge them, & say ‘Ok, you know hot to get to point x, drive yourself there’, then they turn all timid & they’re like ‘I don’t know how to get there’. Or, they’re all talk, & end up going to someplace else other than where you told them to get to. This person is older, from another generation, before computers, laptops, cell phones, smart phones, & internet. I get that the world of the internet & such can be daunting, & the fact that you can look up virtually anything & everything on a small cellular telephone that you can hold in the palm of your hand & take everywhere you go is mind baffling, it is a whole new world we are living in now. BUT, that being said, we DO have these little pieces of technology that we can fit in our purses, our pockets, that we can call other people on, text people on, go on the internet & find anything-directions included. So, even if you have no idea where you are, or where to go, you have this cell phone that you can whip out, go onto the internet, find where you are, find out directions of where you need to or want to go, you can call or text someone if you need help or whatever. Heck, you can even play games on it. I don’t claim to know how to get everywhere, BUT I do have my cell phone that I can look up their address, THEN look up directions to get there. I can’t tell you how many times I have told this person to do that, & EVERY time, they act surprised that you can do that! And, that is after a 10 minute drama where they keep saying that they don’t know where it is at, to which I keep telling them that they can look it up on their phone, to which they again say they don’t know how to. The first 5 or 10 times, I was patient with them, & even walked them through what to do. But, now, after the three thousandth time I’ve told them, it is a bit old, they should know that they can google or bing it on their phone, then look up the directions on either mapquest, or look up maps on their phone, or look up their gps or maps application on their phone.

Then, this person is always saying that they never get out of town. They have a car, they have money to get gas, they have a drivers license, they have a cell phone in case anything happens. When someone brings this up to them, they act offended & say that THEY can’t drive out of town, that someone else HAS to do it because they don’t know how  to get there…please see last paragraph for what to do to find directions. I hate to sound like a downer all the time, or like I am sitting up on my soap box, judging everybody, but this person can be such an easy target. I try so hard to take a deep breath before saying something to this person, as most of the time, my first thought is to tell them to look up the directions on their phone, that they know how to do that. This person is single, way over 18, owns their own car, pays their bills…it’s not like they have young children or a spouse that they have to take care of, or anywhere else to be (other then the occasional doctor appointment or whatever), it’s not like they’re skipping out on work or any responsibilities or anything. So, why CAN’T they take a trip to a target or walmart nearby? They DO know how to get there after all….or so they say. And even if they don’t, they have a cell phone with internet…that solves a lot of problems!

I think this person likes to create drama, or just loves the attention. This person’s parents doted on them their whole life-anyplace this person needed to go, the parents would drive them. That being said, even as a fully grown person, their parents would still take them to the doctor & the parents would know what they were going in for, they’d know when this person had a bowel movement, or went to take a pee. It seems like it’d be quite stiffling, to have ZERO space to move, to grow, to have any kind of relationship, to learn how to drive out of town, to live on their own. It kind of reminds me of that movie ‘Bubble Boy’. This person was like the main character-the parents were all up into all their business. When I became of age, & started getting my period, I started using tampons (not RIGHT away, but after about 6 months or so). Oh boy, did that irk this person & their parents. I was obviously close enough to them that they knew I used them, & I knew they completely, vehemently disapproved. But, I didn’t care, they weren’t my parents. They honestly could not understand the fact that I was using them, they even tried getting me to not use them, kept saying it was un-natural. Like I said, I didn’t care-it was MY decision. Not like anyone else needs to know this, but I have a somewhat harder period, so that was part of the reason I used them-so I didn’t have to keep going back to the bathroom every 10 minutes to change a pad while I was in school.

This person is very small minded- never got out much & drove anywhere, never explored around, never had a significant other or dated. They still remind me very much of a smaller child, they only know whats in the town they live in (they do know there is a bigger world out there, has traveled some-never alone), they always listened to their parents, always did what they said, the parents drove them out of town anytime this person went out of town, the parents never said ‘go out & drive yourself’, the parents were always looking over their shoulder, telling them what to do. This person has always been very dependent on their parents & other people. Now that the parents are gone, the dependency has been changed to ‘other people’. Even calling the doctor to make an appointment, it’s like this person is suffering, & complaining about it to everyone, & everyone tells them to call the doctor over & over again, but do they? Nope, everyone else pretty much has to tell this person that we don’t want to hear it anymore because as long as they aren’t going to call the doctor, there isn’t anything else we can do about it. This person’s dependency has been difficult to deal with-there is only so many times anyone can tell this person that they can, in fact, drive themselves out of town (it isn’t against the law), they can get directions (on their phone even), they can, in fact, figure out how to do things on their phone without someone else doing it for them… This person keeps asking me how to do something on their phone (we have 2 different types of phones, so I have no idea how to do much on their phone), & when I reply that I haven’t a clue (because in fact, I have no clue), I get in trouble for it because I automatically said no, & that I DO know how to but I just don’t want to tell them how to do it. One time, I told them to stand up, sit down, stand up, turn around 3 times…or something like that. Another time, I turned my phone around, so the screen was facing me, put it where the person couldn’t see it, & asked what color my screen was. This person got mad at me because how was this person supposed to know that without being able to see the screen? Or knowing the phone. I told this person-point proven, how am I supposed to know how to do something on their phone, that they have set up the way they want (on top of it being a completely different brand of phone than mine), as well as a completely different phone than mine, without looking at the phone & fiddling with it a bit? And even still, there isn’t any guarantee that I will be able to figure out what to do. This person has the owners manual, HELLO! Read it!

Anyway, I guess that is all I’ve got for the moment…hopefully no more drama? I am trying to think positively.

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