Archive | September, 2016

Annoying People With Drama…

26 Sep

Does anyone else have those people in their lives that just butt into everything, acting like they know everything, but in reality, they don’t know what’s going on? They always have an opinion, always cause drama, even though they claim they don’t do the drama thing, but they open their big mouths & put their foot right in their mouths, & actually act surprised when drama lands flat in their lap?! Like they have no clue how it all happened, they were just the poor innocent bystander, & WHAP! Drama just landed right there at their doorstep.Oh, & what about if you (god forbid!!) don’t answer their phone call or text because you were *gulp* busy, I don’t know, maybe driving, or doing your job, & they get pissed at you, or use your full name, like you’re in trouble for something.

Everything in the last paragraph was about ONE person in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love this person, BUT *OMG*. And then, if they happen to hear you making plans with someone to go out of town, they automatically butt in & invite themselves along before you even know they entered the conversation. I can’t tell you how many times me & my sister &/or friend & had been making plans to go out of town to a store (target or the like), & she immediately inserts herself into going…Mind you, we weren’t even talking to her at all, she was talking to other people. Oh, but because we were going, that automatically meant that she was invited & going as well. A couple of times, I had to tell her she couldn’t go with me, because my car was already full with people going with me. OMG, she pretty much threw a fit. HELLO! She has a car, a license, money, & (now that she is retired) the time to go…AND go at her pace, at her leisure (when it suits her), where she wants to go. After all, she’s all talk-she KNOWS where to go, she KNOWS how to get there…So, alright, GO THEN! Oh, but you tell HER that? Then she turns into a blubbering fish, & immediately changes her story-all of a sudden she CAN’T go…yeah, why not? Anytime we go, she can fill up the tank of gas, get what she wants, treat me/us to a meal…so what is stopping her? If she goes herself, if she doesn’t want to eat out, she doesn’t have to, or if she does, she’s just paying for herself.

One time, my 2 friends & I were planning to go to the mall to go Christmas shopping, & of course she invited herself along. Well, she automatically assumed she’d be in the front seat all the time. The day that we had planned to go, I had to work till 2 or 3 o’clock in the afternoon, so we weren’t leaving at the butt crack of dawn (like what she’d WANTED to do), AND I told her from the get go that this was the ONE day I was going shopping for my all of my Christmas presents, SO it wasn’t like I was going for 1 or 2 things & then I’d be done. I had a lot of things I had to get from all over the mall, so I’d be a while. She said OK, that she was ok with that. Well, we get there, & after about an hour or so (by now, it was like 6:30 or so by the time I got her, got my friends, & then got to the mall), she starts texting me, asking me where I am, if I’m done, how much longer it was going to be, then calling me, asking how much more I had to do. OMG she was driving me bananas! I finally told her that I was still shopping, I was going to be a while, & that I had TOLD her that I was not going to be done quick when we got there. Even my friends were like WTF? By the time we left, it was like 7:30 or 8 that night, & she was complaining because she was up so late. I don’t know why she was complaining, she didn’t have to work the next day! AND she got a free ride to the mall, all she had to spend was on the things she bought. NEVER AGAIN!

And, god forbid we say we’re going to go to the bookstore. She’s always like ‘do we HAVE to?’, like it’s SUCH an inconvenience! Then, she starts putting stipulations on it before we even leave. She’s like ‘now don’t stay at the bookstore all day, I want to get to the store at a reasonable hour & get home before it gets too late’. Mind you, I am driving her a**. Ok, so sometimes it might be in her car, that she fills up the tank of gas, & depending, might get me or us a meal, BUT, if she wasn’t going with us, we’d be going anyway in our own car. BUT, she’s got to push herself in the middle of it, practically FORCE us to take her car, because she just filled up the tank to go…News flash, we live in the land of the free, I don’t HAVE to take your car!

It seems like she loves to butt in & give HER version of a story just because she is in the vicinity of a conversation-whether it was warranted or not. Like if someone asks ‘oh I wonder what happened with so & so?’ Oh, she will jump right in & offer a story about what REALLY happened, because she was there, &/or the person confided in her about it. It doesn’t matter if she was there or not, she still KNOWS what happened. More times than not, she was NOT there, AND doesn’t have a clue as to what happened. BUT, for some reason, she feels she HAS to act like she has to outdo everyone else in the room-like she has to know more than anyone else, almost like she has to prove herself, prove her worth to the group that she is talking to. She doesn’t seem to grasp that she doesn’t know everything. In all honesty, they could’ve been asking about a person that was more of an acquaintance of her at the time, a friend of a friend, AND she really doesn’t know what happened. Oh, but she’ll tell the story (most of the time, she is totally off base with the story, it’s usually about something completely different AND unrelated to what was asked about). It’s one thing if she said I *think* this is what happened, but I’m not sure, but she jumps in the deep end with it & is adamant that her story is what happened. In doing this, she’s pissed some people off. Then, since telling this story, she’s talked about that conversation, & is now saying that she told a different story than the story she reportedly told that night. AND, she is acting upset that someone is pissed off at her for basically telling a tall tale & putting this other person in a potentially bad position with said group of friends. She doesn’t get that she is in the wrong by butting in & essentially telling a lie.

She can’t seem to wrap her head around the fact that just because someone she knows is talking about something, or are going somewhere, that she isn’t necessarily invited into that conversation, or invited to go on that trip. Like, just because *I* am going to Target, does NOT mean that she is going to Target WITH me. If I ASK her if she wants to come along, that is a different story. BUT, if I’m planning to go with someone else, & don’t say anything TO her, asking her to go, then she has no reason to go along with me. I think that is a big part of her problem-she doesn’t know boundaries. She thinks that just because 1 of us is going, or a group of us is going, that automatically means she is going too. I can’t tell you how many times we (meaning my parents, sisters & myself) have made plans to go on a trip, or go to the mall or target or something ON OUR OWN (interpretation: JUST us, NOT anyone else, like her), she automatically thinks she’s going too, & immediately inserts herself into the equation, & asks when were leaving, when should she be here. Then, when we bring up the fact that it was just going to be *our* family, she comes back with ‘Well, I am part of your family’…yes, she is part of our family in the general sense, BUT not in the sense that we were talking about. She can’t seem to grasp her head around that concept either. I think a lot has to do with the fact that her parents would always make my dad take her along with a lot of things, & so now, she thinks that it is like that all the time.

 

Anyway, I am going to call it quits so I don’t just keep re-hashing the same thing over & over again.

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I’m Right, But I’m Wrong…

20 Sep

I don’t even know where to begin. It’s been one of those periods of time where, no matter what I do, I am catching flack for something. I ask for help, I get treated like I’m an invalid, or like I am stupid, & whatever I am asking help with is SUCH an inconvenience to whoever I am asking. BUT, when I don’t ask, then everyone treats me like I am crazy for NOT asking for help…Then they act like it wouldn’t have been an inconvenience at all, like they would have loved to have helped.

Then, there is the ever present weight issue, & having to either deal with someone who is less than sensitive (shall we say…) about what they say about things, or having to hear the same exact speech about how this other person is not trying to pick on me, but we ALL, & they’re not just singling me out, but that we ALL have to loose weight, & we have to watch what we eat, how much we eat etc. I know none of you can see me right now, out there in the internet space, but I am over here rolling my eyes. It’s either I am getting ‘are you SURE you should be eating that?’ or ‘are you SURE you should have that much?’ said in a rude manner & tone of voice, & basically all in just an insulting way, like they’re TRYING to start a fight over it. Or I am getting the same lecture that I have been getting-word for word, mind you-for the last 5-10 years or so. It definitely is a small portion of my day, if at all, BUT it has just gotten so exhausting & demanding that I would love nothing more then to go to a private space-not even an island, just a place where I can work on me! A private retreat where I can work on making better meals for myself, learn about portion control, exercise, & just get to a healthier place in a happier & non-judgemental place, surrounded by people who are upbeat & are there to help, &/or are going through the same thing I am (or maybe their own thing). We’ve all got our demons, we are all going through our own stuff, it definitely wouldn’t hurt to be a bit more compassionate about things. Especially if you know that if you said something similar about a sensitive spot to that person in the same way that they say it to you, they would get mad & defensive with you & give you a good tongue lashing for it. As the saying goes, when the shoe is on the other foot…

I just feel like I am at a place right now where things aren’t positive & hopeful. One person I live with is VERY negative, ALL the time-ALWAYS watching the news, everything is doom & gloom, 1 little thing goes wrong & the whole world is against this person. Then, another person I live with, isn’t good with communicating. The doom & gloom person with invite people over for dinner (always over here, they never seem to be willing to go out to visit other people or do anything elsewhere). The other person gets pissed off because the doomer is inviting people over. Of course, it doesn’t help that every time, it is last minute, after the person has already gone to the store, which only makes that person even more mad, then the doomer realizes that they’re out of wine, or some other spirit that they need…And, it doesn’t help that the other person doesn’t say anything, or when they DO say something, it is in a pissed off, about ready to fight manner, which makes the doomer got on the offensive. I don’t know if any of you are getting the feeling that they are not good communicators, but I sure have. Or, sometimes when they DO communicate, the other person (like I just said) will be very confrontational, which makes the doomer go on the offensive…which turns into a fight…I just don’t get why we can’t all just talk in a civilized fashion, instead of being confrontational. Then, the other person I live with is scared of everything. Everything they say or do, they’re afraid someone is watching & is going to report them for god knows what. Or, god forbid that when they’re driving down the road, & POSSIBLY gave someone a stink eye (not even sure that they did…), that that person is going to suddenly turn around & follow them & beat them up or something. Yet again, something else that is there in the back of my mind, worrying away at my peace of mind. It seems like it never ends, there is always a fight, or something to look over a shoulder about. Now, I sit in my room, alone & more happy than when I started this post. I’ve gotten all this off my chest, I am alone, away from the stressful people. Now, if I could only find that someplace to go for a bit to work on me…

Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming…

5 Sep

What do you do when you feel like you’re always troubled by the same problems? Or you seem to keep having the same issues with the same person over & over again, but you can’t say anything because no matter what you say, this person isn’t going to & will never change? In fact, saying something to this person only causes drama, because at the mention of the ‘issue’ only makes that person mad, & they create more un-needed drama on top of all the drama they have already caused.

 

This person constantly acts like they know everything about everybody, all the juicy little tidbits, like they’re all up in everyone’s business…only to get it all mixed up, have it all wrong, & not know anything. Oh, & let’s not forget that they don’t drive out of town, & frankly don’t know HOW to drive out of town, but that doesn’t stop them from ACTING like they know their way around. They act like they know, but when you challenge them, & say ‘Ok, you know hot to get to point x, drive yourself there’, then they turn all timid & they’re like ‘I don’t know how to get there’. Or, they’re all talk, & end up going to someplace else other than where you told them to get to. This person is older, from another generation, before computers, laptops, cell phones, smart phones, & internet. I get that the world of the internet & such can be daunting, & the fact that you can look up virtually anything & everything on a small cellular telephone that you can hold in the palm of your hand & take everywhere you go is mind baffling, it is a whole new world we are living in now. BUT, that being said, we DO have these little pieces of technology that we can fit in our purses, our pockets, that we can call other people on, text people on, go on the internet & find anything-directions included. So, even if you have no idea where you are, or where to go, you have this cell phone that you can whip out, go onto the internet, find where you are, find out directions of where you need to or want to go, you can call or text someone if you need help or whatever. Heck, you can even play games on it. I don’t claim to know how to get everywhere, BUT I do have my cell phone that I can look up their address, THEN look up directions to get there. I can’t tell you how many times I have told this person to do that, & EVERY time, they act surprised that you can do that! And, that is after a 10 minute drama where they keep saying that they don’t know where it is at, to which I keep telling them that they can look it up on their phone, to which they again say they don’t know how to. The first 5 or 10 times, I was patient with them, & even walked them through what to do. But, now, after the three thousandth time I’ve told them, it is a bit old, they should know that they can google or bing it on their phone, then look up the directions on either mapquest, or look up maps on their phone, or look up their gps or maps application on their phone.

Then, this person is always saying that they never get out of town. They have a car, they have money to get gas, they have a drivers license, they have a cell phone in case anything happens. When someone brings this up to them, they act offended & say that THEY can’t drive out of town, that someone else HAS to do it because they don’t know how¬† to get there…please see last paragraph for what to do to find directions. I hate to sound like a downer all the time, or like I am sitting up on my soap box, judging everybody, but this person can be such an easy target. I try so hard to take a deep breath before saying something to this person, as most of the time, my first thought is to tell them to look up the directions on their phone, that they know how to do that. This person is single, way over 18, owns their own car, pays their bills…it’s not like they have young children or a spouse that they have to take care of, or anywhere else to be (other then the occasional doctor appointment or whatever), it’s not like they’re skipping out on work or any responsibilities or anything. So, why CAN’T they take a trip to a target or walmart nearby? They DO know how to get there after all….or so they say. And even if they don’t, they have a cell phone with internet…that solves a lot of problems!

I think this person likes to create drama, or just loves the attention. This person’s parents doted on them their whole life-anyplace this person needed to go, the parents would drive them. That being said, even as a fully grown person, their parents would still take them to the doctor & the parents would know what they were going in for, they’d know when this person had a bowel movement, or went to take a pee. It seems like it’d be quite stiffling, to have ZERO space to move, to grow, to have any kind of relationship, to learn how to drive out of town, to live on their own. It kind of reminds me of that movie ‘Bubble Boy’. This person was like the main character-the parents were all up into all their business. When I became of age, & started getting my period, I started using tampons (not RIGHT away, but after about 6 months or so). Oh boy, did that irk this person & their parents. I was obviously close enough to them that they knew I used them, & I knew they completely, vehemently disapproved. But, I didn’t care, they weren’t my parents. They honestly could not understand the fact that I was using them, they even tried getting me to not use them, kept saying it was un-natural. Like I said, I didn’t care-it was MY decision. Not like anyone else needs to know this, but I have a somewhat harder period, so that was part of the reason I used them-so I didn’t have to keep going back to the bathroom every 10 minutes to change a pad while I was in school.

This person is very small minded- never got out much & drove anywhere, never explored around, never had a significant other or dated. They still remind me very much of a smaller child, they only know whats in the town they live in (they do know there is a bigger world out there, has traveled some-never alone), they always listened to their parents, always did what they said, the parents drove them out of town anytime this person went out of town, the parents never said ‘go out & drive yourself’, the parents were always looking over their shoulder, telling them what to do. This person has always been very dependent on their parents & other people. Now that the parents are gone, the dependency has been changed to ‘other people’. Even calling the doctor to make an appointment, it’s like this person is suffering, & complaining about it to everyone, & everyone tells them to call the doctor over & over again, but do they? Nope, everyone else pretty much has to tell this person that we don’t want to hear it anymore because as long as they aren’t going to call the doctor, there isn’t anything else we can do about it. This person’s dependency has been difficult to deal with-there is only so many times anyone can tell this person that they can, in fact, drive themselves out of town (it isn’t against the law), they can get directions (on their phone even), they can, in fact, figure out how to do things on their phone without someone else doing it for them… This person keeps asking me how to do something on their phone (we have 2 different types of phones, so I have no idea how to do much on their phone), & when I reply that I haven’t a clue (because in fact, I have no clue), I get in trouble for it because I automatically said no, & that I DO know how to but I just don’t want to tell them how to do it. One time, I told them to stand up, sit down, stand up, turn around 3 times…or something like that. Another time, I turned my phone around, so the screen was facing me, put it where the person couldn’t see it, & asked what color my screen was. This person got mad at me because how was this person supposed to know that without being able to see the screen? Or knowing the phone. I told this person-point proven, how am I supposed to know how to do something on their phone, that they have set up the way they want (on top of it being a completely different brand of phone than mine), as well as a completely different phone than mine, without looking at the phone & fiddling with it a bit? And even still, there isn’t any guarantee that I will be able to figure out what to do. This person has the owners manual, HELLO! Read it!

Anyway, I guess that is all I’ve got for the moment…hopefully no more drama? I am trying to think positively.