Well…NOW I’m Worried…

3 Jun

Ok, so the lady I’ve been working for has a live in. She has had this live in for about a year & a half now. Everything was going great for about 6 months…then the live in suddenly got this skin condition-REALLY red skin, dry, itchy, scaly, peeling…It was EVERYwhere! Who knows how long this was building up. So the live in went to the regular doctor, who sent her to a dermatologist, who said she had scabies, then it wasn’t, it was something else, then it was psoriasis, then it was eczema, then they didn’t know what it was. There is obviously something wrong with her, she complains that it hurts & itches ALL the time, BUT she won’t go to the dermatologist or specialist. I get it that it is hard for her to get out of town to go to the doctor with her not having a car or license, BUT she has friends that can take her, she has TWO days off per week, ONE of those days is a weekday, SOOOO she can go, she just has to set it up with a friend of hers (which she has many) to take her. Or, worse comes to worse, she can take the bus!!! There are ways that she can get there! She just went recently, & they still have no idea what it is, BUT the doctor (I am pretty sure it was the dermatologist) told her that she needed to get a pap smear & a mammogram to find out what she has…say what? What the hell is that supposed to do? I mean, that will tell her if she has a female part cancer, but how is that mandatory to tell her what she has on her skin? Oh, & then, she said that depending on the results from those, she might not be able to take care of the lady I work for anymore…Things are just getting curiouser & curiouser if you ask me…This lady has literally been a nightmare to work with according to our ‘boss’. The live in is constantly cursing up a storm, always complaining about her condition, always complaining about having to get up to toilet our boss, has cried for a couple of days at a time, slamming things down…I’ve been there when the live in has said  something rude in a very rude tone & manner, then started laughing, like she was just kidding. This person TOOK the job…she came into this job knowing what her responsibilities were going to be. Yes, there is a tack on the end of that-FOR THE MOST PART…SUBJECT TO CHANGE. Things change, not always for the better, but they change anyway. What are you going to do? She can quit…like she threatened at least twice that I know of. But then, she will be homeless AND jobless-No money coming in. Then what?

I get it that she is in a bad place right now, with this skin condition on top of having to take care of someone else. BUT, wouldn’t that motivate you to go to the doctors & find out whats wrong? ASAP?!?!?! If I had that all over my body, I’d make sure I went to the doctor & that they find out whats wrong. I would do pretty much whatever it took to figure out what that was.

So, about a month ago, I started getting this red patch on the back of my neck, it was dry, itching & it felt kinda scaly. So, I went to my doctor Friday, which she said it looks like either psoriasis or eczema. Today, someone I know is starting to get a dry patch on the back of their neck. Odd, right? That is what I am thinking too…But, thinking of everyone the live in must have come into contact with, plus everyone I have some into contact with, why is it only ONE other person seems to be getting almost the same starting issues as what the live in started with? I am not sure if it started on her neck too, but just seems kind of odd that I, & only me, have gotten this. There is another person who works with us for our boss. She hasn’t gotten anything, our boss hasn’t gotten anything, nobody else in my family or friends have gotten anything…It just strikes me as very weird that after a year, suddenly I have something similar (possibly…), then right on the heels of me, someone else I know might also have it too? For the record, yes I have started using new body wash (another scent by a company I’ve used before & haven’t had trouble), yes, I have started using new laundry detergent (but it is only on the back of my neck-not where my clothing is), yes I have started using new shampoo/conditioner (yet again-another type by a same company that I have used before without incident, & yet again, it’s only on the back of my neck, not down my whole back). So many questions right now…Why, after all this time, has it started on me? If, in fact, it is from the live in. Then, why so quick on the person I know, & not anyone else I have been close to? And, why noone else the live in has been close to? Do I have the same thing as the live in? What does the live in have? What do I have? Is it contagious? (I am thinking no, but I just don’t know) My mind seems to be going a mile a minute, with no answers right now. Hopefully I will get some soon, at least for me! Definitely calling my doctors office tomorrow…

On top of all that, certain people have been…not really ignoring me, but lets just say that if I were someone else, they’d be calling me way before I texted them at 6 o’clock at night about the doctor visit. And, other people have been on me about my weight still. I have lost almost 20 pounds, but I don’t dare tell them that, because I am sure they will tell me that that isn’t good enough. TRUST me, IF I could just wave a wand or finger & POOF, the weight would be gone, believe me when I tell you I WOULD HAVE DONE THAT ALREADY!!! Trust me, I look at myself every god damned day, & I don’t like who I see looking back at me-a HUGE person, someone who looks like a female Jabba the hutt, a female fat Albert-only short. I don’t like what & who I have become. I want to lose weight soooo badly, & I look at myself every day, & every day, I am still fat, I try so hard to eat right, exercise, do the right thing. But every day, I still see that fat person looking back. Every day is a struggle, that is for darn sure! Another day comes, another day goes, & I haven’t lost as much as I’d like. I don’t expect to loose a chunk of myself overnight, but I don’t see the little bits I do loose everyday, & that is hard too. That is a downer, trying so hard to eat right, eat small portions, exercise, drink lots of water, & I look exactly the same today as I did yesterday-no bigger, no smaller. It just gets to be so hard to pull myself out of bed mentally, to mentally prepare myself for the day, trying to have a good day, only to be beaten down by someone in my inner circle. If they don’t have faith in me, don’t try to lift me up, but instead try to tear me down, tear down my confidence, how is that going to help me? Tough love works on some people, but not on me! Sometimes, I can take that proverbial ripping the bandaid off, but most of the time, not so much. However, I am a human being, so if you come to me honestly, & in just the right way (not sounding demeaning, mean, or condescending etc) then you will have a much better chance at an open ‘meeting’, if you will, with me, & you will find me trying to meet you halfway on it.

Just some food for thought…

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