Archive | June, 2014

Up Pops The Drama

23 Jun

Why does drama always seem to keep finding me? Now, I am left here, on a Sunday night, feeling stressed-having had a busy weekend with no end in sight, so tired because it has already been a long week, connected to a long busy weekend, bleeding into a hopefully normal week this next week, then, next weekend is promising to be just as busy…Then, lets not forget the drama thrown in for good measure. 

Sometimes, some people know exactly what buttons to push to ruin your you day. There has been a funeral, a birthday, a party…not related to the birthday. I feel so exhausted-mentally, emotionally, physically…I just want to scream at some people! Don’t worry, I’m not going to do any bodily harm or anything, but I just feel like a friend is mad at me for nothing..again. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, said friend snapped at me tonight…I just asked how friend was doing…& got a smart ass comment back…soooooo….I’m taking the higher road…meaning I am not stooping down into a fight that will only cause me more drama in my life. I am trying to get RID of the drama, not welcome more & go out seeking more! I am so tired of ALWAYS having something going on, ALWAYS having drama show up-announced, unannounced, or otherwise. I almost feel suffocated sometimes-like I’m ALWAYS on the go, always busy doing something, always have something going on, like I have no down time, like I barely have enough time to come home, eat dinner, take a shower, before I have to go to bed. Then, as if that’s not enough, my schedule gets changed, then changed again, then back again, then this changes then that changes. I feel like I am in constant motion with no end of sight. 

Then, sometimes my job feels overwhelming. And I feel like I’m always under so much pressure, & if I miss even the slightest thing, I feel like I am the biggest failure of all time. That starts a downward spiral of self deprecation, self loathing, depressing mood. Sometimes I wonder if maybe it’s time a change in jobs. As much as that saddens me, I sometimes seriously think of that, & look at new jobs. Nothing has struck my fancy as of yet. 

Many things are changing, not all for the better, some for the very depressing. Change isn’t always a good thing, it doesn’t always come at the best times, & sometimes, the change isn’t always obvious or easy, but staying stagnant isn’t an option. There is only so long that you can stay still before you get into a rut…so I am moving on (I hope…)