Archive | January, 2014

Un-Happy New Year

20 Jan

Well, this year has really started off with a bang! And I’m not talking the good type of bang either. I feel soooo stressed out, there is never a dull moment, something is ALWAYS changing and/or in action. I’d really like to have most things stay the same, a little change here, a little change there to keep it interesting…not everything changing all the time! I’d like a lot of mundane, same ole’ same ole’ nothing ever changes time-not the other way around!

 

It seems as though someone’s schedule is always changing-going in earlier, going in later, having this day off but working Saturday…*rolls eyes* Not to mention certain people not being able to NOT invite half the town over for dinner then complain about money troubles the next day. I’d love to proverbally smack them upside the head & tell them to get a clue. But that wouldn’t go over well with them as they’d get offended, butt-hurt & become whiny & PMS’y like a woman. A lot of things seem to have come up & keep on coming up last minute. Then, what starts out as 10 minutes turns into 20, turns into 30, turns into an hour. People (some anyway) seem incapable of showing up on time. I get being fashionably late, or being late every once in a while, but it seems like everyone is doing it, & its more than fashionably late. 

 

Then, there is Murphy’s Law-I swear! It’s like some people KNOW when I or we make plans to do something. I or we haven’t said anything to anybody else, it’s spur of the moment-like a split second decision to go out see a movie with my sister, or my sister, my aunt & myself going to Santa Rosa for a quick shopping trip. It is just the 2 or 3 of us talking, we haven’t told anyone else about our plans, then 1 of us gets a call to stay later, or we get a call that we have to sit for the weekend, which turns into part of that next week as well. (This coming from someone who can’t stand tardiness, who says they’ll be back by Sunday morning, but ends up coming back Tuesday night…) It’s not like we’re trying to keep secrets, nor is it like we have/make so many plans. I try to live a calm, uneventful life. I’m not 1 of those people who has my datebook full of things going on…its pretty simple. BUT the ONE time I make plans, something happens. So, we plan it for another day, & guess what? Something else happens, something else comes up. It is so very frustrating! Lately, I feel like I’m lucky to go on an unscheduled bathroom break! I feel like that’s pushing it!

 

Then, is it me, or does there seem to be a lot of sickness around? Like this whole H1N1 flu virus & people dying…it’s scary!! I don’t want to go near hospitals or doctors offices!! (Not like I wanted to, to begin with!) But I also feel like people around me have been getting sick/going to the hospital a lot lately & I feel like I’ve sorta been drug into it…Like being asked to give them rides, which I wouldn’t ordinarily mind, but with all this bad stuff going around, its scary! Plus I haven’t been feeling extremely health, I haven’t been sick mind you, but I haven’t felt up to 100% par either-so the last place I want to be is someplace like a hospital or doctor’s office where there is sickness! I hate to sound mean & uncaring, but I don’t want to get sick or run the risk of getting sick either.

 

I just feel like I am at my wits end, like I’m standing at the edge of the bridge, my toes hanging over the edge. I just want everything to calm down, no more waves or ripples please universe! I just want a simple uneventful life for a while! PLEASE!!! *takes a few deep, calming breaths & thinks good thoughts for the future*

All hell breaks loose

10 Jan

This is hopefully going to be short…

It just feels like everything around me is in an uproar…especially today! I am on the verge of crying. It could be partly because I’m at the end of my period on top of all the uproar. I feel like I’m being out in the corner for doing something bad even though I didn’t. Ok, so I didn’t do a small task asked of me, like doing the dishes, BUT it’s not like I wasn’t doing something else, like taking care of her twin sons. I did take out the garbage, fed & took care of her sons…

On a somewhat unrelated note, I’m feeling very out of the circle so to speak. I feel like everyone else gets along, cares for & looks out for each other, but not with me…I feel like I’m the cast off, like nobody cares for or looks out for me. I feel like my 2 sisters are close to each other & I’m the odd man (or woman as the case may be) out. *sighs*

I just am feeling very depressed & feel like crying so much. I just want to have a good few days with no drama, no snafu’s, no fighting…just easy happy days!!! I’m feeling like life has been way to complicated as of late & I’m tired of it…I’m taking a deep breath & hoping tomorrow will be easier.