It’s a Miracle They Even Know I Exist…

14 Jan

A lot has happened since my last post. First off, I’d like to get this off  my chest. My grandma, aunt & uncle  never cease to amaze me with how mean they are, but this time, it not only affected me, but everyone else too. For both Thanksgiving & Christmas, they seemed to be trying to get us (my parents, both my sisters, myself, my middle sisters boyfriend & the twins) to not come over, short of lying to us & saying they weren’t doing either. We ended up going over on Thanksgiving & Christmas Eve. They pretty much ignored me the whole time, which doesn’t surprise me because thats the way they’ve treated me my whole life-either that or when they DO talk to me, it’s to put me down, or talk about ‘Rachel, Rachel, Rachel’, my wonderful perfect cousin. (Don’t get me wrong, I love her, I am not mad at her, this is all aimed at them, since THEY are the one’s who are doing this, not her.) No matter WHAT I’ve done or achieved, they’ve NEVER ONCE congratulated me on it. They have never accepted me period. Usually, it is the oldest grandchild or niece/nephew who is the ‘beloved’ child, well, not in my case. With me, it’s more like I’m the bad seed, the embarrassment. Anyway, back onto the subject. On Christmas Day, around 230, my mom called to see when they were going to come over, & at that point, they said they ‘weren’t sure when they were going to be over.’ At that point, we should have seen it coming. She called back a little after 4, when noone had come over yet, & at that point, they then told her that they were not going to come over. Oh the nerve! They go around acting like they high class, & so classy & ritzy, (& treating me like I am a 3rd class citizen), but in reality, they are low class, no good, rude, mean & black hearted people! My mom had went through, bought all that food, prepared & cooked it, spruced up the house, was expecting them to come over, & they decide they don’t want to come over at the last minute? AND they weren’t even going to tell her? The ONLY reason we knew they weren’t going to come over was because my mom HAD to CALL THEM to see if they were going to come over, they couldn’t even call us?! If we so much as thought to do something like that to them, we’d be exiled out of the family! And, it wasn’t like any of them were sick, or had to travel out of town. It wouldn’t surprise me if they had something better come up or had a party at their house! My middle sister who ALWAYS & VEHEMENTLY defends them was even pissed off that they did that. She is, now, starting to see how they are. All I can say to that end of it, is finally! Like I’ve said, they’ve always treated me like this! I could tell you horror stories! 

Maybe that could/should be my next few entries…Just to get it off my chest. It seems like no matter how many times I tell the stories, or who I tell them too, it still hurts, makes me feel both bad & bad about myself. I’ve tried talking to my aunt about it, & she denies ever giving preferential treatment to my cousin (trust me, its very obvious), or to treating me the way they do. Even her own best friend said something to her defending me! (I must say, her best friend is awesome, & she has always like me & treated me better then my own aunt) 

I’d love to say I wish I wasn’t related to them (& I have on more than 1 occasion), I am also thankful that I am related to them because I don’t take the good part of my family (the rest of that side of the family, as well as the other side of the family) for granted. I know what it’s like to be looked at as the black sheep of the family. I can be in a room filled with my family, & feel like I am truly not there, lost, alone & unloved. I can be talking to them, & feel like I am stupid, uncool, & like I’m being judged by them all the time. It’s like being in high school all over again. It is like they are all still stuck in high school. I know my uncle did not have a good high school experience, maybe not a bad 1 perse`, but I do know that he was teased at lest a little bit. I don’t know about my aunt or my grandma, but something tells me that if they’re treating me like they are, & otherwise acting like they are/do, they must not have had a great 1 either. Now, it’s like they’re trying to relive their high school days, only their ‘classmates’ are their family members. Lately, I’d just rather not deal with them. All my life, they’ve NEVER been able to remember my birthday, or even my birth MONTH. I’d be happy if they’d even remember the month I was born in. But, you ask them when 1 of my other uncle’s birthday’s is, & they will tell you without even skipping a beat. Mind you, my uncle’s birthday is the day after mine (many years difference though). Yes, that’s a real ego booster there. They’re also gossip hounds, they LOVE getting all up into your business, yet also, don’t always like giving out their gossip…especially if it’s something they did wrong. So, I can guarantee you that they will not be sharing that Christmas day story with anyone else. Thankfully, they are not the only one’s involved, & my other 2 uncles will be hearing about it. Especially that uncle who’s birthday is the day after mine, since he is completely about family, & keeping the family together. He, unfortunately, couldn’t make it that day because he was out of state, which we knew about already, so that wasn’t an issue. 

Wow, so this update was really supposed to be about something else completely, but, as usual I guess, once I get started on them, everything else seems to get derailed. I can honestly say that I am constantly being hurt by them, it seems like when I think they can’t get or do anything worse, they surprise me & stoop lower than before. I guess the moral of this story is don’t let your guard down, that I shouldn’t be surprised by ANY thing they do or say (especially when it is involving me), & most of all, don’t trust them period. 

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